The year is 2035. Probes seeking out inhabitable planets have all failed and are now returning to earth. However, the earth's population has grown so large that even more one more returning astronaut could cause the crust to collapse. This would mean that an employee of NASA would have to fill in a form.
You are that employee. Rather than pick up a damned pen you decided to retrofit a terrestial telescope into mankind's deadliest weapon - the cannon. You follow the winding track up to the observatory and wipe the sweat from your brow as you grip the improvised cannon controls. You're just like Will Smith in Independence Day.
We're overrun with stinking astronauts! Run for your lives! Try again if you want to save the earth. Or not, you know, it's up to you.
Although some dastardly astronauts managed to make it down to earth, they've undergone too much muscle wasting to be a nuisance and will be quietly dealt with by men in sunglasses. There will be a parade in your honour in every street in your undeveloped backwater nation.
Why not hire Tom Chambers for a front end dev position?